Looking at a woman when wanting to marry her
باب النَّظَرِ إِلَى الْمَرْأَةِ إِذَا أَرَادَ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَهَا
Sunan Ibn Majah, Book of The Marriage(view book)
It was narrated that:
Muhammad bin Salamah said: “I proposed marriage to a woman, then I hid and waited to see her until I saw her among some date palm trees that belonged to her.” It was said to him: “Do you do such a thing when you are a companion of the Messenger of Allah?” He said: “I heard the Messenger of Allah saying: 'When Allah causes a man to propose to a woman, there is nothing wrong with him looking at her.' ”
حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو بَكْرِ بْنُ أَبِي شَيْبَةَ، حَدَّثَنَا حَفْصُ بْنُ غِيَاثٍ، عَنْ حَجَّاجٍ، عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ سُلَيْمَانَ، عَنْ عَمِّهِ، سَهْلِ بْنِ أَبِي حَثْمَةَ عَنْ مُحَمَّدِ بْنِ مَسْلَمَةَ، قَالَ خَطَبْتُ امْرَأَةً فَجَعَلْتُ أَتَخَبَّأُ لَهَا حَتَّى نَظَرْتُ إِلَيْهَا فِي نَخْلٍ لَهَا فَقِيلَ لَهُ أَتَفْعَلُ هَذَا وَأَنْتَ صَاحِبُ رَسُولِ اللَّهِ ﷺ فَقَالَ سَمِعْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ ﷺ يَقُولُ " إِذَا أَلْقَى اللَّهُ فِي قَلْبِ امْرِئٍ خِطْبَةَ امْرَأَةٍ فَلاَ بَأْسَ أَنْ يَنْظُرَ إِلَيْهَا " .
Classification
It was narrated from Anas bin Malik that:
Mughirah bin Shubah wanted to marry a woman. The Prophet ﷺ said to him: “Go and look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you.” So he did that, and married her, and mentioned how well he got along with her.
حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ عَلِيٍّ الْخَلاَّلُ، وَزُهَيْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، وَمُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْمَلِكِ، قَالُوا حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ، عَنْ مَعْمَرٍ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ، أَنَّ الْمُغِيرَةَ بْنَ شُعْبَةَ، أَرَادَ أَنْ يَتَزَوَّجَ، امْرَأَةً فَقَالَ لَهُ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ " اذْهَبْ فَانْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَحْرَى أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا " . فَفَعَلَ فَتَزَوَّجَهَا فَذَكَرَ مِنْ مُوَافَقَتِهَا .
Classification
It was narrated that:
Mughirah bin Shubah said: “I came to the Prophet and told him of a woman to whom I had to propose marriage. He said: 'Go and look at her, for that is more likely to create love between you.' So I went to a woman among the Ansar and proposed marriage through her parents. I told them what the Prophet had said, and it was as if they did not like that. Then I heard that woman, behind her curtain, say: 'If the Messenger of Allah has told you to do that, then do it, otherwise I adjure you by Allah (not to do so)'. And it was as if she regarded that as a serious matter. So I looked at her and married her.” And he mentioned how well he got along with her.
حَدَّثَنَا الْحَسَنُ بْنُ أَبِي الرَّبِيعِ، أَنْبَأَنَا عَبْدُ الرَّزَّاقِ، عَنْ مَعْمَرٍ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ الْبُنَانِيِّ، عَنْ بَكْرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللَّهِ الْمُزَنِيِّ، عَنِ الْمُغِيرَةِ بْنِ شُعْبَةَ، قَالَ أَتَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ فَذَكَرْتُ لَهُ امْرَأَةً أَخْطُبُهَا فَقَالَ " اذْهَبْ فَانْظُرْ إِلَيْهَا فَإِنَّهُ أَجْدَرُ أَنْ يُؤْدَمَ بَيْنَكُمَا " . فَأَتَيْتُ امْرَأَةً مِنَ الأَنْصَارِ فَخَطَبْتُهَا إِلَى أَبَوَيْهَا وَأَخْبَرْتُهُمَا بِقَوْلِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ . فَكَأَنَّهُمَا كَرِهَا ذَلِكَ . قَالَ فَسَمِعَتْ ذَلِكَ الْمَرْأَةُ وَهِيَ فِي خِدْرِهَا فَقَالَتْ إِنْ كَانَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ ﷺ أَمَرَكَ أَنْ تَنْظُرَ فَانْظُرْ . وَإِلاَّ فَإِنِّي أَنْشُدُكَ كَأَنَّهَا أَعْظَمَتْ ذَلِكَ . قَالَ فَنَظَرْتُ إِلَيْهَا فَتَزَوَّجْتُهَا . فَذَكَرَ مِنْ مُوَافَقَتِهَا .