Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, Book of Looking after children

'A'isha said, "Abu Bakr said, 'By Allah, there is no man on the face of the earth that I love better than 'Umar.' Then he went out and came back and said, 'How did I swear, daughter?' I told him what he had said. Then he said, 'He is dearer to me although one's child is closer (to one's heart).'"

حَدَّثَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ بْنُ صَالِحٍ قَالَ: حَدَّثَنِي اللَّيْثُ قَالَ: كَتَبَ إِلَيَّ هِشَامٌ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: قَالَ أَبُو بَكْرٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ يَوْمًا: وَاللَّهِ مَا عَلَى وَجْهِ الأَرْضِ رَجُلٌ أَحَبَّ إِلَيَّ مِنْ عُمَرَ، فَلَمَّا خَرَجَ رَجَعَ فَقَالَ: كَيْفَ حَلَفْتُ أَيْ بُنَيَّةُ؟ فَقُلْتُ لَهُ، فَقَالَ: أَعَزُّ عَلَيَّ، وَالْوَلَدُ أَلْوَطُ.

Ibn Abi Nu'm said, "I was with Ibn 'Umar when a man asked him about the blood of gnats. He asked, 'Where are you from?' 'From the people of Iraq,' he replied. He said, 'Look at this man! He asks about the blood of gnats when they murdered the grandson of the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace! I heard the Prophet ﷺ say, 'They are my sweet basil in this world.'"

حَدَّثَنَا مُوسَى، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا مَهْدِيُّ بْنُ مَيْمُونٍ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ أَبِي يَعْقُوبَ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي نُعْمٍ قَالَ: كُنْتُ شَاهِدًا ابْنَ عُمَرَ إِذْ سَأَلَهُ رَجُلٌ عَنْ دَمِ الْبَعُوضَةِ؟ فَقَالَ: مِمَّنْ أَنْتَ؟ فَقَالَ: مِنْ أَهْلِ الْعِرَاقِ، فَقَالَ: انْظُرُوا إِلَى هَذَا، يَسْأَلُنِي عَنْ دَمِ الْبَعُوضَةِ، وَقَدْ قَتَلُوا ابْنَ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ، سَمِعْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ يَقُولُ: هُمَا رَيْحَانَيَّ مِنَ الدُّنْيَا.

Al-Bara' said, "I saw the Prophet ﷺ when al-Hasan was on his shoulder. He was saying, 'O Allah, I love him, so love him.'"

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْوَلِيدِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا شُعْبَةُ، عَنْ عَدِيِّ بْنِ ثَابِتٍ قَالَ: سَمِعْتُ الْبَرَاءَ يَقُولُ: رَأَيْتُ النَّبِيَّ ﷺ وَالْحَسَنُ صَلَوَاتُ اللهِ عَلَيْهِ عَلَى عَاتِقِهِ، وَهُوَ يَقُولُ: اللَّهُمَّ، إِنِّي أُحِبُّهُ فَأَحِبَّهُ.

Jubayr ibn Nufayr said, "One day we were sitting when al-Miqdad ibn al-Aswad when a man passed us. The man said, 'Blessing be to those two eyes which saw the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. By Allah, I wish that I had seen what you have seen and witnessed what you have witnessed!' This angered al-Miqdad and that surprised me as the man had said nothing but good things. Then he turned to them and said, 'What made the man desire to summon back what Allah has taken away? Does he not realise what his situation would be if he had seen him? By Allah, if certain people had been with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ Allah would have thrown them on their faces into Hellfire since they would neither have answered nor confirmed him? Do you not praise Allah Almighty since He brought you forth and you only know your Lord and confirm what your Prophet ﷺ brought? You see enough affliction in other people. By Allah, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ was sent in the harshest state in which any Prophet was ever sent - in a gap (in the line of prophethood) and the time of Ignorance. They did not believe that the deen was better than worshipping idols. He brought the Discrimination by which it is possible to discriminate between the true and false, and which can part a father from his child. Then a man will think of his father, child or brother as an unbeliever. Allah has loosened the locks of his heart by faith and he knows that the other person will be destroyed in the Fire. Therefore his eye is not cool since he knows that the one he loves will be in the Fire. It is what Allah says, "Those who say, 'Our Lord, give us joy in our wives and children." (25:74)'"

حَدَّثَنَا بِشْرُ بْنُ مُحَمَّدٍ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ اللهِ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنَا صَفْوَانُ بْنُ عَمْرٍو قَالَ: حَدَّثَنِي عَبْدُ الرَّحْمَنِ بْنُ جُبَيْرِ بْنِ نُفَيْرٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ قَالَ: جَلَسْنَا إِلَى الْمِقْدَادِ بْنِ الأَسْوَدِ يَوْمًا، فَمَرَّ بِهِ رَجُلٌ فَقَالَ: طُوبَى لِهَاتَيْنِ الْعَيْنَيْنِ اللَّتَيْنِ رَأَتَا رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ، وَاللَّهِ لَوَدِدْنَا أَنَّا رَأَيْنَا مَا رَأَيْتَ، وَشَهِدْنَا مَا شَهِدْتَ. فَاسْتُغْضِبَ، فَجَعَلْتُ أَعْجَبُ، مَا قَالَ إِلاَّ خَيْرًا، ثُمَّ أَقْبَلَ عَلَيْهِ فَقَالَ: مَا يَحْمِلُ الرَّجُلُ عَلَى أَنْ يَتَمَنَّى مُحْضَرًا غَيَّبَهُ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ؟ لاَ يَدْرِي لَوْ شَهِدَهُ كَيْفَ يَكُونُ فِيهِ؟ وَاللَّهِ، لَقَدْ حَضَرَ رَسُولَ اللهِ ﷺ أَقْوَامٌ كَبَّهُمُ اللَّهُ عَلَى مَنَاخِرِهِمْ فِي جَهَنَّمَ، لَمْ يُجِيبُوهُ وَلَمْ يُصَدِّقُوهُ، أَوَلاَ تَحْمَدُونَ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ إِذْ أَخْرَجَكُمْ لاَ تَعْرِفُونَ إِلاَّ رَبَّكُمْ، فَتُصَدِّقُونَ بِمَا جَاءَ بِهِ نَبِيُّكُمْ ﷺ، قَدْ كُفِيتُمُ الْبَلاَءَ بِغَيْرِكُمْ، وَاللَّهِ لَقَدْ بُعِثَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ عَلَى أَشَدِّ حَالٍ بُعِثَ عَلَيْهَا نَبِيٌّ قَطُّ، فِي فَتْرَةٍ وَجَاهِلِيَّةٍ، مَا يَرَوْنَ أَنَّ دِينًا أَفْضَلُ مِنْ عِبَادَةِ الأَوْثَانِ، فَجَاءَ بِفُرْقَانٍ فَرَّقَ بِهِ بَيْنَ الْحَقِّ وَالْبَاطِلِ، وَفَرَّقَ بِهِ بَيْنَ الْوَالِدِ وَوَلَدِهِ، حَتَّى إِنْ كَانَ الرَّجُلُ لَيَرَى وَالِدَهُ أَوْ وَلَدَهُ أَوْ أَخَاهُ كَافِرًا، وَقَدْ فَتْحَ اللَّهُ قُفْلَ قَلْبِهِ بِالإِيمَانِ، وَيَعْلَمُ أَنَّهُ إِنْ هَلَكَ دَخَلَ النَّارَ، فَلاَ تَقَرُّ عَيْنُهُ، وَهُوَ يَعْلَمُ أَنَّ حَبِيبَهُ فِي النَّارِ، وَأنَّهَا لِلَّتِي قَالَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ: {وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ}.

Anas said, "One day I visited the Prophet ﷺ and there was only myself, my mother and my aunt, Umm Hiram. When he came to us, he asked us, 'Shall I pray with you?' It was not the time of an obligatory prayer." One of those listening to the person relating this asked, "Where did he put in Anas in relation to him?" The reply was, "He put him to his right." The report from Anas continues, "Then he prayed with us and made supplication for us, the people of the house, that we would have the best of the blessings of this world and the Next. My mother said, 'Messenger of Allah, make supplication to Allah for your little servant,' and he asked Allah to grant me every blessing. At the end of his supplication, he said, 'O Allah, grant him a lot of money and many children and bless him!'"

حَدَّثَنَا مُوسَى بْنُ إِسْمَاعِيلَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا سُلَيْمَانُ بْنُ الْمُغِيرَةِ، عَنْ ثَابِتٍ، عَنْ أَنَسٍ قَالَ: دَخَلْتُ عَلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ يَوْمًا، وَمَا هُوَ إِلاَّ أَنَا وَأُمِّي وَأُمُّ حَرَامٍ خَالَتِي، إِذْ دَخَلَ عَلَيْنَا فَقَالَ لَنَا: أَلاَ أُصَلِّي بِكُمْ؟ وَذَاكَ فِي غَيْرِ وَقْتِ صَلاَةٍ، فَقَالَ رَجُلٌ مِنَ الْقَوْمِ: فَأَيْنَ جَعَلَ أَنَسًا مِنْهُ؟ فَقَالَ: جَعَلَهُ عَنْ يَمِينِهِ؟ ثُمَّ صَلَّى بِنَا، ثُمَّ دَعَا لَنَا أَهْلَ الْبَيْتِ بِكُلِّ خَيْرٍ مِنْ خَيْرِ الدُّنْيَا وَالْآخِرَةِ، فَقَالَتْ أُمِّي: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، خُوَيْدِمُكَ، ادْعُ اللَّهَ لَهُ، فَدَعَا لِي بِكُلِّ خَيْرٍ، كَانَ فِي آخِرِ دُعَائِهِ أَنْ قَالَ: اللَّهُمَّ أَكْثِرْ مَالَهُ وَوَلَدَهُ، وَبَارِكْ لَهُ.

Anas ibn Malik said, "A woman came to 'A'isha and 'A'isha gave her three dates. She gave each of her two children a date and kept one date for herself. The children ate the two dates and then looked at their mother. She took her date and split it into two and gave each child a half of it. The Prophet ﷺ came and 'A'isha told him about it. He said, 'Are you surprised at that? Allah will show her mercy because of her mercy towards her child.'"

حَدَّثَنَا مُسْلِمُ بْنُ إِبْرَاهِيمَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ فَضَالَةَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا بَكْرُ بْنُ عَبْدِ اللهِ الْمُزَنِيُّ، عَنْ أَنَسِ بْنِ مَالِكٍ: جَاءَتِ امْرَأَةٌ إِلَى عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا، فَأَعْطَتْهَا عَائِشَةُ ثَلاَثَ تَمَرَاتٍ، فَأَعْطَتْ كُلَّ صَبِيٍّ لَهَا تَمْرَةً، وَأَمْسَكَتْ لِنَفْسِهَا تَمْرَةً، فَأَكَلَ الصِّبْيَانُ التَّمْرَتَيْنِ وَنَظَرَا إِلَى أُمِّهِمَا، فَعَمَدَتْ إِلَى التَّمْرَةِ فَشَقَّتْهَا، فَأَعْطَتْ كُلَّ صَبِيٍّ نِصْفَ تَمْرَةٍ، فَجَاءَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ فَأَخْبَرَتْهُ عَائِشَةُ فَقَالَ: وَمَا يُعْجِبُكِ مِنْ ذَلِكَ؟ لَقَدْ رَحِمَهَا اللَّهُ بِرَحْمَتِهَا صَبِيَّيْهَا.

'A'isha said, "A bedouin came to the Prophet ﷺ and asked, "Do you kiss your children? We do not kiss them.' The Prophet ﷺ said, 'Can I put mercy in your hearts after Allah has removed it from them?'"

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ يُوسُفَ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا سُفْيَانُ، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ عُرْوَةَ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: جَاءَ أَعْرَابِيٌّ إِلَى النَّبِيِّ ﷺ فَقَالَ: أَتُقَبِّلُونَ صِبْيَانَكُمْ؟ فَمَا نُقَبِّلُهُمْ، فَقَالَ النَّبِيُّ ﷺ: أَوَ أَمْلِكُ لَكَ أَنْ نَزَعَ اللَّهُ مِنْ قَلْبِكَ الرَّحْمَةَ؟.

Abu Hurayra said, "The Messenger of Allah ﷺ kissed Hasan ibn 'Ali while al-Aqra' ibn Habis at-Tamimi was sitting with him. Al-Aqra' observed, 'I have ten children and I have never kissed any of them.' The Messenger of Allah ﷺ looked at him and said, 'Whoever does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'"

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو الْيَمَانِ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنَا شُعَيْبٌ، عَنِ الزُّهْرِيِّ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو سَلَمَةَ بْنُ عَبْدِ الرَّحْمَنِ، أَنَّ أَبَا هُرَيْرَةَ قَالَ: قَبَّلَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ حَسَنَ بْنَ عَلِيٍّ وَعِنْدَهُ الأَقْرَعُ بْنُ حَابِسٍ التَّمِيمِيُّ جَالِسٌ، فَقَالَ الأَقْرَعُ: إِنَّ لِي عَشَرَةً مِنَ الْوَلَدِ مَا قَبَّلْتُ مِنْهُمْ أَحَدًا، فَنَظَرَ إِلَيْهِ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ ثُمَّ قَالَ: مَنْ لا يَرْحَمُ لا يُرْحَمُ.

Numayr ibn Aws said, "They used to say, 'Correct action is a gift from Allah, but adab comes from the parents."

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ عَبْدِ الْعَزِيزِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا الْوَلِيدُ بْنُ مُسْلِمٍ، عَنِ الْوَلِيدِ بْنِ نُمَيْرِ بْنِ أَوْسٍ، أَنَّهُ سَمِعَ أَبَاهُ يَقُولُ: كَانُوا يَقُولُونَ: الصَّلاَحُ مِنَ اللهِ، وَالأَدَبُ مِنَ الآبَاءِ.

An-Nu'man ibn Bashir said that his father had carried him to the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. He said, 'Messenger of Allah, I testify to you that I have given an-Nu'man such-and-such. (It was a slave). The Prophet asked, "Have you given each of your children the same"?" "No," he replied. He said, "Then testify to someone other than me." Then the Prophet asked, "Do you not want to show equal kindness to all of them?" "Indeed I do," he replied. He said, "Then do not do it."

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ سَلاَمٍ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنَا عَبْدُ الأَعْلَى بْنُ عَبْدِ الأَعْلَى الْقُرَشِيُّ، عَنْ دَاوُدَ بْنِ أَبِي هِنْدَ، عَنْ عَامِرٍ، أَنَّ النُّعْمَانَ بْنَ بَشِيرٍ حَدَّثَهُ، أَنَّ أَبَاهُ انْطَلَقَ بِهِ إِلَى رَسُولِ اللهِ ﷺ يَحْمِلُهُ فَقَالَ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، إِنِّي أُشْهِدُكَ أَنِّي قَدْ نَحَلْتُ النُّعْمَانَ كَذَا وَكَذَا، فَقَالَ: أَكُلَّ وَلَدَكَ نَحَلْتَ؟ قَالَ: لاَ، قَالَ: فَأَشْهِدْ غَيْرِي، ثُمَّ قَالَ: أَلَيْسَ يَسُرُّكَ أَنْ يَكُونُوا فِي الْبِرِّ سَوَاءً؟ قَالَ: بَلَى، قَالَ: فَلاَ إِذًا.

Ibn 'Umar said, "Allah has called them the 'dutiful' (al-Abrar) because they are dutiful (birr) to their parents and children. Just as you have a duty which you owe your parent, so you have a duty which you owe your child."

حَدَّثَنَا ابْنُ مَخْلَدٍ، عَنْ عِيسَى بْنِ يُونُسَ، عَنِ الْوَصَّافِيِّ، عَنْ مُحَارِبِ بْنِ دِثَارٍ، عَنِ ابْنِ عُمَرَ قَالَ: إِنَّمَا سَمَّاهُمُ اللَّهُ أَبْرَارًا، لأَنَّهُمْ بَرُّوا الْآبَاءَ وَالأَبْنَاءَ، كَمَا أَنَّ لِوَالِدِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقًّا، كَذَلِكَ لِوَلَدِكَ عَلَيْكَ حَقٌّ.

Abu Sa'id said that the Prophet (may Allah bless him and grant him peace) said:
'Someone who does not show mercy will not be shown mercy.'

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ الْعَلاءِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا مُعَاوِيَةُ بْنُ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ شَيْبَانَ، عَنْ فِرَاسٍ، عَنْ عَطِيَّةَ، عَنْ أَبِي سَعِيدٍ، عَنِ النَّبِيِّ ﷺ قَالَ: مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمُ لاَ يُرْحَمُ.

Jarir ibn 'Abdullah said, "The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, 'Allah will not show mercy to someone who does not show mercy to people."

حَدَّثَنَا مُحَمَّدُ بْنُ سَلامٍ، قَالَ: أَخْبَرَنَا أَبُو مُعَاوِيَةَ، عَنِ الأَعْمَشِ، عَنْ زَيْدِ بْنِ وَهْبٍ، وَأَبِي ظَبْيَانَ، عَنْ جَرِيرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللهِ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ: لاَ يَرْحَمُ اللَّهُ مَنْ لا يَرْحَمُ النَّاسَ.

Same as 97.

وَعَنْ عَبْدَةَ، عَنِ ابْنِ أَبِي خَالِدٍ، عَنْ قَيْسٍ، عَنْ جَرِيرِ بْنِ عَبْدِ اللهِ قَالَ: قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ: مَنْ لاَ يَرْحَمُ النَّاسَ لا يَرْحَمُهُ اللَّهُ.

'A'isha said, "Some bedouins came to the Prophet, may Allah bless him and grant him peace. One of their men said to him, 'Messenger of Allah, do you kiss children? By Allah, we do not kiss them.' The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said, 'Can I put mercy in your hearts after Allah has removed it from them?'"

وَعَنْ عَبْدَةَ، عَنْ هِشَامٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، عَنْ عَائِشَةَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهَا قَالَتْ: أَتَى النَّبِيَّ ﷺ نَاسٌ مِنَ الأعْرَابِ، فَقَالَ لَهُ رَجُلٌ مِنْهُمْ: يَا رَسُولَ اللهِ، أَتُقَبِّلُونَ الصِّبْيَانَ، فَوَاللَّهِ مَا نُقَبِّلُهُمْ، فَقَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ ﷺ: أَوَ أَمْلِكُ إِنْ كَانَ اللَّهُ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ نَزَعَ مِنْ قَلْبِكَ الرَّحْمَةَ؟.

Abu 'Uthman reported that 'Umar wanted to appoint a man as governor. The governor said, "I have such-and-such a number of children and I have never kissed any of them." 'Umar said, "Allah Almighty will only show mercy to the kindest of His slaves."

حَدَّثَنَا أَبُو النُّعْمَانِ، قَالَ: حَدَّثَنَا حَمَّادُ بْنُ زَيْدٍ، عَنْ عَاصِمٍ، عَنْ أَبِي عُثْمَانَ، أَنَّ عُمَرَ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ اسْتَعْمَلَ رَجُلاً، فَقَالَ الْعَامِلُ: إِنَّ لِي كَذَا وَكَذَا مِنَ الْوَلَدِ، مَا قَبَّلْتُ وَاحِدًا مِنْهُمْ، فَزَعَمَ عُمَرُ، أَوْ قَالَ عُمَرُ: إِنَّ اللَّهَ عَزَّ وَجَلَّ لاَ يَرْحَمُ مِنْ عِبَادِهِ إِلاَّ أَبَرَّهُمْ.